The Incident
by petals-to-fish
Summary: Sirius is called to go to jury duty despite his roommate James being a judge. While serving his civic duty, Sirius meets Lily, a witty University student with a desperate need to get out of jury duty. He offers Lily various suggestions that lead eventually lead to The Incident. (fluff filled jily american muggle AU that literally no one asked for but I wrote while in jury duty)


The Incident

"Please take a seat." The woman at the front desk handed him a badge that said JUROR in red, "the orientation will start in two minutes."

First of all, Sirius Black had a hard time believing that he'd been called to jury duty in the first place considering that he was best friend and confident of the Judge, James Potter. Sirius assumed that if he helped James organize his Pokemon card collection that meant he was exempt from _all_ jury duty prospects. Unfortunately, the summons had arrived in their mailbox and James had delivered it to Sirius at the kitchen table with a conceited grin. James took to calling the summons 'bring your best friend to work day'. Sirius was more apt to calling it 'governmental conspiracy'.

James' smug face followed Sirius into the juror room. On the screens above there were flashes of his face, along with a short bio about him. The woman at the front desk, Cheryl, eyed Sirius' tattoos with a frown as he left the front desk to sit down.

Sirius thumped into a chair beside a redhead wearing an exasperated grimace. She was talking on the phone rather angrily.

"This woman at the front desk told me that this could take all day so if you don't hear from me I've asked the supposed murderer to murder me."

The irate woman sent Sirius a look to show that she wanted to be here about as much as he did. She was talking to someone who had a high-pitched voice but the conversation ended abruptly. The woman pulled her phone from her ear and pouted.

Sirius grey eyes trained back to the television screen in front of them. James' face reappeared, his bio right beside his face. The woman looked up just as James' face disappeared and his bio stayed, stressing his love for donuts and racecars.

"What kind of idiot admits they like Krispy Creme over Dunkin Donuts?" The woman muttered next to Sirius with a slight grunt before resuming her phone surfing.

Sirius resisted the urge to tell her that James had a knack for picking the worst foods to love. Anyone who picked Denny's over IHop was clearly inept and James picked Denny's every single time. Suddenly, Sirius' phone went off in his pocket. Sirius leaned up to pull his cell from his jean pocket. The white screen flashed for more than one message from James Potter.

 **JP** : I can't believe that we get to hang out all day together!

 **JP** : If u get picked to be in my courtroom that is.

 **JP** : I could get fired for telling u this but old man Alexander needs a panel of like, twenty jurors, so good luck NOT getting picked.

 **JP** : Are u downstairs?

Sirius rolled his eyes and began texting James back.

 **SB** : they've stuffed at least 150 of us in this tiny ass room and are about to start orientation.

 **SB** : What happens if I run out before they call my name?

 **JP** : death penalty for running from ur civic duty

 **SB** : How many jurors do you need?

 **JP** : idk. This attorney on my case is killing my vibe and I can't focus.

 **JP** : g2g the attorney just realized I'm not paying attention to the case and threatened to sue me

 **SB** : threaten him with the death penalty

James didn't answer and Sirius exhaled, leaning back in his chair. According to the clock on the wall opposite him, only a few minutes had passed. He sighed deeply again, earning a look from his striking neighbor. Before the woman could talk, a voice cane from a small stage to their right.

It was Cheryl, the woman from the front desk, standing at a podium to give direction, "Alright we're going to get started, and I know how excited you all are to be here attending jury duty today."

The people around Sirius chuckled, if only bitterly. Cheryl seemed encouraged by signs of life and continued with a fluff of her blonde hair.

"We'll start by saying the pledge of allegiance."

Sirius unhappily stood up and begrudgingly placed a hand over his heart. The red haired girl had a uncaring expression as she did the same. The pledge ended but Cheryl had them keep standing to recite that they would, before the court of law, tell the truth and nothing but the truth.

Sirius felt like he was back in grade school in the principles office.

Finally, Cheryl had them sit again before going over the rules, "most trials only last the day and not all of you will be picked. If you are picked to serve on a jury, know that you will not be able to share any information when you leave the courtroom. If you are not picked, you still have to remain here incase the judge asks for more jurors." Sirius frowned deeply at the thought of spending all day in the same room, "You will get a lunch, around midday. I will announce over the loudspeaker when that will be. Any questions?"

There was silence.

"This is the perfect time to turn to your neighbors and introduce yourselves."

Of fucking course Cheryl would encourage socialization.

Sirius turned to the redhead who was eyeing his long black hair with interest. He hadn't noticed before, but her eyes were a startling green and she was wearing a Levins University sweater. Sirius and James had both gone to Levins. The woman stuck out her hand and he took it kindly.

"Sirius Black." He grunted.

"I'm Lily." She said, "Lily Evans."

Sirius' eyes flashed to her sweatshirt, "When did you graduate?"

Lily responded lukewarmly, "dropped out."

Sirius raised an interested brow at his neighbor, "me too, not your slice of pie?"

Lily tilted her head at him, "What?"

"I mean did you drop out because you're not very good at school?"

Lily's eyes twinkled precariously, "I got into Harvard Law."

Sirius frown faltered, "Oh shit, sorry..."

"I happen to have an IQ of five hundred and fifty six."

"Is that even a thing?" He couldn't tell if she was kidding or not.

"I dunno, you tell me."

He stared at her uncertainly and then she laughed, a sound that was both warm and spirited.

"I'm just kidding, I don't go to Harvard." Lily waved her hand at Sirius with a grin, "I had to leave LU for a year to go take care of my dad. I'm back for my last year. I'm a chemistry major."

Sirius was surprised by her choice of major, "Wow, how erm—" he paused, not knowing how to not insult her (again).

Instead of being awkward she challenged him, "Say what you're thinking, you think I'm a nerd."

" _Intellectual_." Sirius stated.

Her smile got even wider, "Nice save."

Sirius cracked his own grin; she had the same sense of humor as James. It was uncanny that he'd find the pale and red haired version of his roommate in jury duty. She even ran her fingers through her lose hair in a more controlled way of how James' messed up his curls.

Lily stopped looking at Sirius to glance down at her phone, which was going off every ten seconds. She was texting back someone with little smirks and a few eye rolls. Since Sirius didn't have anything else to do while they waited, he continued watching her interact with the world behind her screen.

"You're quite popular." He finally said, after about forty minutes of her texting.

Lily blew her hair from her eyes and sent Sirius a disgraced look, "everyone's giving me tips on how to get out of jury duty."

"You don't want to be here?"

"You do?" she asked in surprise, as if every word from his mouth was preposterous.

Sirius shrugged, "Not really." He admitted, "But as far as I understand, we're stuck here."

"Well, my friend Marley told me to walk in here with a Donald Trump hat and a Black Lives Matter shirt to confuse the Hell out of them." Lily said firmly, "But my other friend Angela is certain if I tell everyone that I believe in the death penalty that I'll be sent home."

"Interesting."

"She's convinced they'll let me go on terms of insanity."

Sirius liked talking to her, she had a sharp sense of humor, "I hear the Hospital down the road is quite nice. Padded walls and such."

Lily shrugged at his teasing, "Gotta stay committed to the role."

Sirius barked a laugh, "Commit to a role?" he motioned to her black leggings and University sweater, "The only role you committed too right now is lethargic college student."

Lily quirked her eyebrow at him, "You have any better ideas? I'm open to anything."

"Sleep with the judge?" Sirius waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Lily slammed her back against the seat in despair, "I'd seriously consider it."

Sirius laughed and then kicked lightly at Lily's ankles, "I'll let him know."

"Thanks pal," Lily laughed, thinking Sirius a jokester.

"In fact," Sirius pulled out his phone, "I'll text him right now."

"Yeah," Lily rolled her eyes, "Because you have Judge Judy on speed dial."

"His name is James actually," Sirius didn't miss a beat, "And he's my roommate."

Lily eyed him, "You're bluffing."

Sirius didn't say anything; he was too busy texting on his phone. Once he'd finished the text and hit send, he flashed the screen right at Lily's green eyes.

 **SB** : James, one of the jurors just told me she's willing to sleep with you to get out of jury duty.

Her forehead furrowed as she read his text and then she laughed.

"Is he attractive?"

Before Sirius could answer the woman called over the loudspeaker, "Alright the judge has called for jurors. We will be calling you by the numbers on your badge and this is a sample size of forty."

There was collective groan from around the room. Lily crossed her arms moodily and looked at her badge for her number.

"I'm 147." She looked at Sirius, "What about you?"

Sirius flipped his badge in her direction, "213."

"What are the chances of us getting called together?" she whispered as the woman started calling out numbers.

"45! 67!"

Slowly, people began filing towards the door at the back of the room.

"Jesus, it's like the fucking Hunger Games in here." Lily hissed.

"104!"

"Just waiting for someone to jump up and yell that they'll volunteer as tribute..." Sirius whispered back.

"I'd have to be drunk but I'd do it for laughs." She said.

"That's something that would definitely spice up our forced time here."

"I knew I should've snuck in a bottle filled with vodka."

That was the moment Sirius decided he was going to be friends with the witty red-haired girl.

Lily and Sirius both passed a sigh of relief when they made it through the drawing without hearing their numbers. The forty selected jurors were escorted out by a security personnel with a walkie talkie. Lily and Sirius watched them go with narrowed eyes.

"Can we leave now, then?" Lily asked.

Cheryl's voice came over the intercom, "If you remain in the sitting area please know we must keep everyone here until all the Judge's needs have been met."

"Guess we're stuck here." She shot a glare at the front desk, "Fucking Cheryl."

Just then, Sirius' phone pinged.

 **JP** : Tell her I at least need 2 take her 2 dinner first.

Sirius laughed and showed his screen to Lily.

Lily fake gasped, "How old fashioned!"

 **SB** : she says your old fashioned

There was a reply almost instantly.

 **JP** : Does she like old fashioned?

"Tell him I prefer my men in colonial wigs."

 **JP** : Tell her I only wear the white wig when on stand.

Lily laughed louder at that reply and stuck out her hand for Sirius' phone. Sirius happily passed it off to the flushing women who seemed enchanted by James' (lame) comebacks. She texted eagerly, her thumbs flying across the glass. James replied just as eagerly, Sirius could see the phone buzzing in her hands.

When Lily tossed the phone back to Sirius quite a while later he read the messages with a knowing smirk.

 **SB** : Hey Judge Judy, do you have the power to dismiss us from this Hell?-Lily

 **JP** : Hello Lily. Unfortunately I can't dismiss you unless you're picked.

 **SB** : so now we have to HOPE we get picked?!

 **JP** : I don't make the rules I just enforce them.

 **JP** : If it makes you feel any better, you'll be paid for being here.

 **SB** : yeah, like, fifteen dollars

 **JP** : Maybe they'll buy you all lunch.

 **JP** : Probably not though because our government has budget cuts.

 **SB** : Aren't you supposed to be judging people right now, not ruining my hopes and dreams?

 **JP** : Actually yes, but this attorney has been going on for literal hours about the color of someone's shoes and I lost interest about three days ago so I'm texting under my desk like some teenager.

 **SB** : is that not against some judge code of law or something?

 **JP** : Probably, but I don't always follow the rules.

 **SB** : and they let you be a judge?

 **JP** : A surprise to all, including my Professors.

"Well, I have to say," Sirius looked up at Lily who was reading something on her phone, "James hasn't held a conversation with a girl this long in a while."

"Not the conversation type?" she hummed, not looking up from her phone.

"He's more the 'kiss don't tell' type." Sirius commented slyly, seeing her neck turn red at the suggestion.

"He just told me that _you're_ the 'kiss don't tell' type." Lily looked up with a smirk.

Sirius frowned, "What, wait, are you texting him?"

Lily sniggered and showed her phone screen. Sirius' jaw dropped when he saw that she had her text open to a certain chat with a _Judge James_.

"You labeled him as Judge James?"

"I considered Judge Judy," she shot back quickly, "but he convinced me otherwise."

Sirius ran his fingers through his long black hair in disbelief, "I can't believe you got his number."

"Sent it to myself didn't I?" Lily grinned as she turned her phone back so she could reply to whatever text had just come in, "I had to ask him if he was a republican or democrat."

"Politics?" Sirius mused, "Interesting topic."

"I'm not going to have sex with someone who voted for Trump."

"You _want_ to have sex with the judge, Evans? I'm appalled."

"You're the one who suggested it." Lily replied coolly, "Don't worry, I've included your freedom in the contract."

"There's a contract?" Sirius couldn't believe how much Lily and James had spoken about in the last forty minutes.

"According to him." Lily replied as she texted.

The woman from the front desk came over the intercom and the noise in the room quieted considerably. Lily even dropped her phone screen from her face.

"We've just received news from one of our judges and he might have need for another juror group around one in the afternoon. Now would be the time to get some lunch. Please be aware that if you drive out of the parking garage you will be subject to fees pertaining to parking. It is our suggestion that you go to one of the restaurants on this street."

"So we can't drive." Lily groaned, "I guess I'll go to the Subway down the road and have a bland sandwich."

"Nah," Sirius stood up and stretched, "Let's go to the bar."

Lily's interest peaked, "A bar?"

"You did say you'd like to get drunk before volunteering as a tribute for the Hunger Games?" He reminded her.

"I mean, I won't say no to getting a drink or two."

"It's a date."

"Will James be on lunch then as well?" she asked as she stood up.

Sirius shrugged, "It depends on his case."

"What is his case?" Lily asked as she and Sirius made their way out of the tiny room and down a set of stairs.

"Probably murder." Sirius griped, "Old lady killed her husband after he offended her cat Mr. Snuffles."

"Poor Mr. Snuffles." Lily sighed dramatically, "He didn't stand a chance."

Lily walked ahead, smiling at everyone they passed politely. Sirius' phone went off again and he checked it with interest.

 **JP** : So really, how pretty is she because right now via her texts, I'm in love?

 **SB** : discernibly average

 **JP** : Sirius

 **SB** : James.

 **JP** : This case is taking fifty forevers but I should get a lunch. Where are you headed?

 **SB** : a bar, she's a riot and wants to get drunk.

 **JP** : She said you dared her.

 **JP** : What color are her eyes?

 **SB** : She's actually blind. Tragic Accident.

 **JP** : What happened?

 **SB** : She looked at a photo of you.

 **JP** : I hate you.

"Sirius what's the bar called?" Lily pulled Sirius from her phone.

They'd made it outside into the cool October air and she was standing with her phone in her hands, trying to get directions around the courthouse. Other jurors on lunch walked around them. Lily's red hair blew in the wind and her eyes were sparkling, full of life. Sirius knew in that moment that when James finally met this woman, he'd be a fucking fool in love. Sirius decided to make himself comfortable around his future best friend's girlfriend.

"I dunno Evans," he complained, "That's what google maps is for."

Lily stood there for a few more moments, typing into her phone, "James says there's a bar on Mayberry and Castle."

"Let's go then." Sirius motioned for Lily to lead the way.

Lily gave a pretty little giggle before walking towards the pillars that led to the streets. She had apparently been downtown enough to know where the streets were. She led Sirius about a block away from the courthouse and through a short alleyway. A small bar called Thickens sat in between a beauty parlor and a convenient shop. Lily opened the wooden door and the smell of cigs and cinnamon wafted over Sirius as he entered the dimly lit bar.

Once they had gotten their drinks Sirius eyes the red haired woman with interest, "So tell me about yourself Evans."

Lily took a swing of her cider, "Well," she said with pursed lips, "I grew up an hours south of here in a small town, hated it there, and moved away."

"What a great story." Sirius faked clapped, "Lifetime movie standing."

Lily smirked, "You got a better one Black?"

Sirius nodded, "thrown out of my super conservative family because I happen to like boys, dropped out of school because of depression, and moved here to be with my best mate."

Instead of shying away from Sirius, like most people did, Lily leaned closer, "That's a shit story."

Sirius took her contest, "my little brother Regulus didn't escape the family like I did—he died—shot himself actually."

She took a large swing of her drink again, "You could've at least added a happy ending."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "His name's Remus and he's on a mission trip in Africa, saving animals and shit."

"Sounds perfect."

"He is."

"What about James?" she asked coyly, "Is he perfect?"

"He snores loudly and likes to buy fast cars." Sirius replied, "Not my type."

Lily asked for another cider as she had finished her first. They both stared at the screens for sometimes, both lost in their thoughts. Sirius often used his story to scare people away; it wasn't often that people stayed. James had stayed. Remus had stayed. Peter stayed until he found something better.

And this girl…this randomly picked girl in jury duty didn't even blink when he shared his story. Sirius knocked back his whiskey as Lily finished her second cider.

"Keep up Black."

He raised an eyebrow at her, "I dare you to try and outdrink me."

"I never turn down a dare." Lily winked after she lowered the bottle from her lips, "If I have to spend another six hours in that blasted jury room I'm going to have some fun."

Sirius clinked glasses with her, "This is the start of a beautiful friendship Evans."

Sirius had no problem with that, "How much _fun_ are you thinking?"

"Take a drink for every time your family had disappointed you?" Lily suggested.

"I'd be wasted in five minutes."

"Me too." Lily lifted her bottle in his direction, "Drink up."

Sirius laughed as she took anther swing, "cheers."

He drank the rest of his whiskey and three more. Sirius always prided himself on holding his alcohol like a champ…Lily was tipsy and giggling as they walked back to the courthouse. She hung onto Sirius' arm sighing at the world like it made her happy.

"I'm so happy we met each other." She told him, "And I'm going to fuck your best friend to get us out of here."

Sirius chuckled as he helped her in the door of the courthouse, "You don't think you'd get chucked out for trying to seduce a judge?"

"That'd be a blessing." Lily said as they walked up the staircase that led to the juror room, "Considering I've been trying to get out of here since seven thirty this morning when fucking Cheryl had us sing the national anthem."

"I dare you to sing it again, only this time to Cheryl."

"Yeah?"

"Maybe they'd send you home."

"Fucking _done_."

Sirius couldn't help but laugh louder when she pushed herself out of his arms to twirl the rest of the way up the stairs. Her red hair was flying and she wasn't paying attention when she ran into a messy haired boy wearing black robes and thick-framed glasses. Sirius recognized him immediately but the pair didn't know each other.

James grabbed Lily's shoulders, steadying her with a half turned smile, "Alright there?"

"My bad!" she giggled gaily, pulling back from the Judge's arms and continuing to dance excitedly down the hall towards Cheryl, "Come on Sirius, we gotta go get kicked out of jury duty!"

"Coming Evans!"

James Potter's head whipped around to see Sirius walking boldly with a casual appearance. Lily was bounding ahead, unawares that she'd just run right into Judge James without even a second glance back. James had his fingers in his hair, messing up the black curls even more as he stared aghast at Sirius and then at Lily's retreating back.

"Is that—" James started.

"You betcha." Sirius said as he passed James to follow Lily.

"Fuck me, she's _gorgeous_." Came James' less than eloquent reply.

As Sirius followed Lily into the jury room Lily had taken to singing now, and not just any song, no…Lily was singing the national anthem at the top of her lungs. Sirius was in stiches now, as everyone in the room turned to watch Lily enter and begin singing to the women at the front desk. Cheryl looked mortified as Lily proudly recited the country's hymn with surprising pipes and squeals of merriment.

Sirius couldn't believe he'd found this _mad_ woman in jury duty of all fucking places and he was so thankful that he did when Lily sat right in front of Cheryl with a shit-eating grin.

"Ma'am, please have a seat!" Cheryl implored, "What the—someone call security!"

"Shit." Sirius was still laughing, grabbing Lily's shoulder, "I can't believe you _actually_ took that dare."

"I don't turn down dares." Lily's mouth promptly opened, "Can we go home yet?"

Cheryl stood up, wagging her finger at Lily and Sirius, "You can't go until all of the judges needs have been met."

Lily eyes Cheryl unhappily, "You call Judge James over Cheryl and I'll make sure his _needs_ are met."

Sirius had to stoop over, he was laughing so hard. James was going to die when he finally hears about Lily's drunken testament to James' _needs_.

Cheryl implored, "Are you drunk?"

"Am I drunk?" Lily snorted, eyeing Sirius enigmatically, "No."

"She's drunk." Cheryl pointed Lily out to someone who had just opened the door behind Sirius.

"I had like, _two_ beers." Lily countered when the security personal brought out the Breathalyzer for her, "That's _hardly_ enough to get me wasted."

"Get her out of here please." Cheryl begged security; "She's ruining the experience for everyone here!"

Sirius had to disagree, everyone in the room watching was either laughing or filming Lily with their phones.

Lily continued talking, "Cheryl, listen. I'm definitely for the death penalty so you might as well let me go—"

Cheryl guested to the security guard who seemed befuddled by Lily, "Go on, take her out of here!"

"Only one of the judge's can release a person from jury duty." The security man reminded Cheryl of the rules she so reinforced.

"I want her out of my jury room!" Cheryl demanded, "She's mocking our national anthem, she's threatening to prostitute herself out of jury duty, she's drunk!"

Sirius really couldn't keep a straight face.

 **SB** : James, your girlfriend is going to get arrested.

 **JP** : someone just came into my courtroom complaining about a drunken woman in the jury room.

 **SB** : I mean it would've been fine but then I dared her to sing the national anthem to the women at the front desk.

 **JP** : Cheryl? Ugh she's the worst Sirius, she'd put her own mother away if it came down to it.

Sirius looked up from his phone to see Lily struggling against the hold of a policeman, dragging her from the jury room. He immediately turned to the woman at the front desk, Cheryl.

"Hey," he beamed dramatically, "So, my friend there isn't drunk. I swear. I dared her to sing to you. No harm meant. It was just for a bit of laughs."

"It won't be a laughing matter when she's fined or thrown into jail."

Lily snorted, "Calm down Cheryl."

Sirius turned away from the desk and opened the doors to head back into the hallway where there was a standstill. Lily was snapping irritably at the security guard as he tried to force a Breathalyzer near her mouth. Sirius had no doubt if they actually got a reading she wouldn't pass as sober. Hell, he wouldn't pass as sober.

"You have no proof that I'm drunk!"

"Breath into this breathalyzer, Miss."

"No!" Lily said, aghast at the suggestion, "I don't want you to be able to hold anything against me in the court of law."

"Alright, alright, what's going on here?" James entered the picture from the staircase, Sirius noted his eyes were sparkling extremely, "I came up here to release these people from jury duty and now everyone's screaming about some drunken fool."

"She won't breath into the breathlizer your honor." The police man motioned in frustration to Lily who had her arms crossed and mouth shut.

"Why does she need to be brethalized?"

"We believe she's been drinking."

"But you have no proof?"

"She was singing the national anthem at the top of her lungs in the jury room."

"I'm just super patriotic." Lily muttered resentfully and Sirius had to clamp a hand over his mouth so that he wouldn't laugh out loud again, "Didn't know it was illegal to sing the national anthem."

The same couldn't be said for James who laughed out loud at Lily's cheek, "She has a point?" James said to the police officer with a chortle, "It's not illegal to sing the national anthem."

"She smells like the bar." The officer said pointedly.

"I smell like cheap beer and disappointment too, you want to breathalize me?"

"Of course not your Honor," the police officer said irately, "But you wouldn't show up to a courthouse drunk."

"That you know of." Lily said, staring at her fingernails, not quite realizing which judge was standing before her.

"Miss, we can't have drunks running around the courthouse." The police man moaned, "Please just—"

"Let me talk to the offender." James ordered in his deep tone, reminding Sirius about how menacing James could be when he tried.

"Fine."

The police man frowned as James turned to Lily with a smile, "Hello, Lily."

Sirius saw Lily's eyes widen and her face turn pale, "Shit."

Sirius wished he could record the entire day to his memory so he'd never forget the look on Lily's face when she realized who the judge was.

James hazel eyes were sparkling playfully, "I'm Judge James."

"Judge." She eyed him uneasily, "James?"

James tucked his head at Lily and Sirius saw her cheeks flush again, "Nice to finally meet you." He stuck out a hand to her, "I'm the rule enforcer."

Lily stared at his hand, "Well, I'm fucked."

"Why's that?" She amused James, Sirius could tell.

"Because you're _attractive_."

James winked, "Listen, you don't have to sweet talk me Evans, I'm letting you go."

"Your honor, she's clearly inebriated." The security guard said in panic, "That goes against the code—"

James snapped at the guard, "Go tell Cheryl all these people are released from jury duty."

Lily grinned excessively, "What?"

"You're released from jury duty." James nodded, "You can go."

"Fucking _finally_." Lily sighed happily, turning to Sirius with a haughty appearance, "And I didn't even have to sleep with the judge!"

"I really hope _that's_ not ruled out completely." James remarked shrewdly, earning an aghast look from the security guard making his way back into the juror room to tell Cheryl the news.

"Not completely," Lily shrugged, "I thought you had to take me to dinner first."

Before James could answer, Lily (who was most _definitely_ drunk off her ass) grabbed a fistful of James' robes and kissed him flat on the mouth. Cheryl almost had a heart attack when she came out to find Lily wrapped up in James' arms and Sirius struggled to explain the entire ordeal of being thrown from the courthouse to Remus in a letter later. All Sirius knew is that James took entirely too long 'walking Evans back to her car' and got in trouble with his boss for holding up an unfinished court case.

Lily and Sirius were sitting at the kitchen table playing a harrowing game of monopoly a week after the incident, focused on pummeling each other into dust, when James returned home from work. He hung his bag on the back of Lily's chair, swooping down to kiss her cheek. Sirius pretended to gag before buying a piece of estate and Lily cursing his family name. James chortled at their antics before helping himself to the chip bag beside Lily's left elbow.

"Still not fired then?" Lily asked everyday, constantly worried her antics would get James fired.

"Nah," James said, "I'm the only juror there who gives a shit. They can't get rid of me, no matter Cheryl's complaints."

"That's irony for ya." Lily commented as she paid her way around the monopoly board, "The judge falls for the woman who gets banned from the courthouse by fucking Cheryl who swears she saw me assault James...with my mouth."

"Cheryl was way out of line with that accusation." James said with a roll of his eyes, "I was _clearly_ kissing you back."

"Cheryl is perfectly happy to remind my boss that one of the younger magistrates was a bit too lax in his hand of the offenders who arrived completely smashed."

"That's because he was too busy thinking about someone's hands _on_ him." Sirius said.

Lily leaned herself into James' touch, "Not my fault that I'm completely irresistible."

"Yeah, _that_ would've held up in court." Sirius watched as James nibbled into Lily's neck unashamedly, "God, you two are like fucking bunnies. It's nauseating."

Lily winked at Sirius, "feel free to leave."

"And let you have sex on our kitchen table?" Sirius rolled his eyes, "Absolutely not."

"You two are iconic now, you know," James told them, "Cheryl has taken to warning every juror that enters the courtroom that there will be no drinking before or _during_ jury duty."

Lily said with a self-righteous shrug as James swiped her hair from her shoulder so he could lean himself closer to her neck, kissing her warm skin friskily, "Why does she feel that she has the right to tell people not to drink?"

James hummed, "Apparently, you're supposed to serve your time in court sober."

"I bet she says you shouldn't sleep with the judge either." Lily mocked.

"Probably but I don't always follow the rules." James kissed her full of the mouth and when he pulled back Lily was beaming.

"And they let you be a judge?" she teased him, running her fingers through his black hair.

James had never looked happier in his entire life, "For some reason they deemed me trustworthy."

Sirius, who had been watching them the whole time, swallowed a bit of whiskey before reminding the couple, "Don't forget the sorry bastard who introduced you two."

He wasn't sorry though, not at all, especially when they all walked down the street to a Chinese take out. Lily had one arm in James' embrace and her other arm was wrapped in Sirius' as they discussed what movie they were going to watch over dinner.

They would joke about The Incident for years after, the story always becoming more melodramatic with each theatrical retelling.

* * *

 **Some of this was dramatized by my knack for wondering what made the front desk ladies at jury duty warn all 200 of us "not to drink during jury duty" because of something called "The Incident".**

 **Some of this happened in real life, like me asking friends for help to get out of jury duty.**

 **Some of this is totally fake, dramatized for the effects of the story.**

 **xx**

 **petals**


End file.
